Say it, Don’t (Over)Spray it!

Venture over to any fragrance forum and you’ll see plenty of topics from hetero male “bros,” desperately inquiring for “beast mode” fragrances or “sillage monsters.” Some even go so far as to completely dismiss all but the absolute longest lasting, beastly fragrances. And for some super heavy hitters, they’ll boast about how they wear 5 or 10 (or more!!) sprays of them, surely cementing their status as The Cologne Guy™ in their social circles (bro, do you even Aventus??!!) It’s often surprising to folks who go to these communities expecting to mostly see women partaking in discussions about fragrance. I know that when I became really interested in researching and discussing fragrance I was surprised by how many men, specifically seemingly average straight dudebro guys, were into fragrance as a hobby.

Not to say that there doesn’t exist a feminine equivalent fragrance-devotee archetype who may also be overly-enthusiastic with their application of Angel and La Vie Est Belle, but this near obsession with imposing one’s fragrance onto everyone within a 10 foot radius seems to be… decidely male. I do enjoy plenty of potent scents, but I also don’t think we should exactly be striving to walk around with a huge miasma cloud emanating from our pulse points, blazing a thick trail of calone or iso-e super in our wake. Sure, you may be memorable for doing this, but you’ll be memorable as that annoying person who doesn’t know when to take their finger off the atomizer.

I think in general, it’s kind of a disservice to overemphasize fragrance longevity and sillage.  I understand that it’s pretty annoying when a fragrance only lasts an hour or two, especially when it’s high-end and expensive, as that is a genuine concern with ensuring value for money spent on what is ultimately a cosmetic product. But the simple truth is that not all fragrance ingredients are able to physically last on skin for 10+ hours, or will ever be capable of projecting a huge cloud of scent around you. That’s just the reality of the chemistry of certain ingredients. Expecting monster longevity and proclaiming that anything that falls short is a “failure” that utilizes “cheap ingredients” (yes, because as we all know, the price of fragrance ingredients are solely determined by how long they last on your skin, Chad) means that you may end up closing yourself off to a lot of amazing, utterly gorgeous fragrances.

One of my favorite summer fragrances, Fragonard’s Miranda, isn’t exactly long lasting (it lasts a good 3 hours before I can barely detect it anymore.) However, it’s such a lovely vanilla/coconut scent that feels like a refreshing summer breeze, that I don’t really care. I just put more on when it wears off, or, more likely, I just don’t freak out midday when I realize that I may not smell like perfume anymore and move on with my life. Then there are long-lasting fragrances that stay very close to the skin, like my beloved Bruno Acampora Musc. Again, it’s okay if people only smell your fragrance when they’re up close. If anything, that can be even more alluring than your fragrance announcing itself before you do.

It’s weird to see something like fragrance being red-pilled into a form of pickup-artistry, where some hetero guys are wanting their scent to be clubbing “the ladies” over the head with how “good” they smell. Apparently, nothing asserts your dominance quite like 10 sprays of Aventus. I guess a respectable 2 sprays is for “beta cucks.” It feels bizarre even to type this- but this is legitimately the kind of attitude present in a significant portion of the male side of the fragrance community. In reality, your scent probably shouldn’t be the first thing people notice about you. In fact, I really pursue fragrance mainly for what it does for me than what I think it will do for others. Subtlety is a more sophisticated and practical goal (and is more bearable for the people around you who may not like perfume as much as you do). Ultimately, pursuing fragrance as more of a personal indulgence in the discovery and cultivation of your own tastes- an indulgence that others (who you allow to come closer) can also enjoy- seems to me much more personally fulfilling (and in the end, more attractive) than full-on chemical warfare.